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vannnny
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Name: van
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 6/4/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: watching tv, hanging out, eating, playing video games
Expertise: eating
Message: message me
Member Since:
6/29/2004
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| I'm happy to say I am done with finals! I'm proud to say I barely stressed at all this quarter. I made many efforts to keep myself stress-free by trying to change my way of thinking.
My classes were pretty awesome this quarter... Asian American Movement, AAPI Leadership Development, & Vietnamese 1. I really like Vietnamese in terms of literacy. I hate speaking. We were forced to learn the formal language--N. Vietnamese Dialect. I DESPISE the 6 tones. Hue people don't do all that. And I'm TIRED of people ridiculing the Hue dialect. I'm also sick of the annoying, selfish people in my class. I don't give a shit if you don't get a perfect on your quiz, you jackasses.
Working with HOPE was pretty rough, challenging, yet inspiring. Being a peer advisor has been one of the most challenging things I've done so far. I'm thankful for all my students and their stories they've shared with me. It really opened my eyes to the different struggles youth face & helps me think about the ways I interact with people. Making sure to not give answers, to constantly question, to be compassionate, to be action-oriented, to be attentive--they're all so difficult. Nonetheless, I love it.
As a single woman now, I definitely feel happier. And it's not to hate on him, but it's about my state of being. I feel a lot better not depending on a significant other for happiness, for comfort, for compliments, for venting. I can now focus on myself, my goals, the people I care about. Not forever though. =P. I just really needed this time to think about what I wanted. And the relationship wasn't what I wanted anymore. People may have thought I was crazy. I really did have feelings for him but it got lost along the way throughout the rough times and time--with time, I learned more and more about what I wanted. It was tough going to college and staying in a relationship. It got tougher through the months and the travel and times we shared were no longer about love, but dependency. Dependency on these different things he and I needed to temporarily escape times of trouble--school, loneliness, etc. Throughout the healing process... (sounds dramatic, but that's what it is! hahaha) I finally confronted something I hid for some time now. Once it was actually revealed, I was regretful. It didn't work out the way I had envisioned but what can I say? Life is unpredictable and life is short. Gotta move on. I'm still in bum mode because apart of me doesn't feel right. The way it happened and what didn't happen... I don't know. I feel like I was just left hangin'. I wouldn't have cared so much if it weren't for the expectations I had for this person. I didn't think I'd get ignored like that. I can't do much but move on. Like I said, when life throws you chai, make chai tea. And so I did. I drink chai & thai tea every freakin' day. Lately, I've been going through withdrawals every few hours when I don't drink it. I'm addicted. I'm a chai-a-holic.
Because I got out of the relationship, I've been able to devote my time to other important aspects--family, friends, work, school. It was so awesome going home this quarter. I went home for my cousin's wedding & bachelorette in Vegas, Whitney's baby shower, & Thanksgiving. I'm going home this Sunday for break & I'm hellllla excited! Next Saturday is Chi Nga's wedding & it's about to be bomb! Prepping for it probably won't be as cool. he he. I'm so happy for my sister. I really look up to her & I'm thankful for all she has done for me. She always inspires me to be better... for myself, the family, for others. She's not like the typical older sibling who tells you what to do. She was. It sounds like something Thuy said before. Like writing that 5-paragraph essay. It's not how you're actually supposed to write in real life... in college. But it's about discipline. It's a training ground. You gotta learn to write that 5 paragraph essay before you can move on and create your own structure. You have to discipline yourself to grow. I think that's what Chi Nga always did. When I was younger, she always made me do chores and things she wanted me to do, but out of it, I learned to respect and be a little more responsible. I always had respect for my older siblings. Or so I believe... hehehe. Even if I ever disagreed or wanted to yell back, I don't think I ever did. Even though I had to do the least desirable chores like dishes, taking out the garbage, or scrubbing the tub, it disciplined me. I can proudly say I clean my apartment often. he he. I'm really thankful for having a pretty cool sis. When she talks to me, she always says "I think" and not " You should." I respect her views and she respects mine without forcing me to do as she believes. I wish her & Thomas the best.
JL. Jean-Luc. Our puppy. I have so much love for that dog. It's been so amazing having her in LA with us... puppy-sitting her, taking her to campus to run around the gas, taking her on walks, feeding her food and giving her water, cuddling with her to sleep, spanking her for her naughty deeds, watching her grow up--it's all awesome! Makes me feel like I have a child. haha. Even though we took her home during finals week, I miss her like crazy. I can't stand sleeping by myself. lol
It's been extra-amazing having the support I do... even her in LA. With people like my friends, my AWESOME counselor, my sister, my co-workers.... it's been uber cool having people to talk to, to do things with you, to procrastinate with you, to gossip with you, to share meals with you, to do random stuff with you, to go clubbing with you. I love it all!
Life is beautiful.
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| I can't help but go on Xanga now. It's so much better than writing in my journal... I'm just a lazy bum.
Being poor sucks, period. Saving up for rent and deposit for the apartment sucks, period. I can't really do anything but stuff that doesn't cost a penny. lol. I also hate working with pittsburgca.net. I submitted an article and most of my article was changed when it wasn't that bad...and I was discredited! Oh well, it doesn't make me that mad. Because I'll only be working there for another 2 weeks and I'm freakin' done forever with them. haha. In a few months I can write what I really want to write about...It just reminds me that things just aren't that simple nor perfect. I want to do what I love and I want to love what I do. I guess things just don't work out that way...at least not right now.
I've decided to continue reading the Harry Potter Series. I've put it off for so long but now I have the time to do it.
I went house hunting with Chi Nga and my Mom today. We looked at a few homes in Brentwood, Antioch, and Oakley. We saw an attractive, warm, nice tone looking home in Brentwood right across the street from Liberty High. My mom really wants it but I'm not sure if she'll get it with so much competitive buyers on that house. Owning a home is a huge dream come true for her and I hope it happens one day. I think she gets really lonesome where we live now and plus, it's a little crazy with the neighbor with the rifle... crazy huh.
Nancy and I are hooked on Rockband. Yeah, we could learn the real talent but it's just so fun playing it on XBOX. You can measure your progress and choose your difficulty but in real life your criticism comes from fans and critics but with ROCKBAND, you just have fun and rock out! haha that doesn't make much sense. Pretty much I just like singing and Nancy likes playing the guitar. haha
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| FINALS week was crazy! I went to Irvine after 10th week to spend my birthday with Charles. Then all weekend I was working on assignments and studying. Monday night I finished my Asian Am 187B paper at midnight and sent it to my prof and studied for 3 hours for my Women's Studies Final the next morning. I was so tired I feel asleep for two hours. But I got up at 7 am to catch the bus to the train station, took the train, then took the bus back to LA. I got back at 10:30-just in time for my final at 11:30. I was pretty wired and I finished it in an hour and a half... went back to my room to shower then went to work at 3pm. Then Nancy, Layhanz, Sally and I went to see Augustana at the Troubadour! They were amazing! My favorites were when they covered Bob Dylan, played Sweet and Low, and engaged the crowd to holler back during Dusk. That night, we had some fatty Jack in the Crack and I knocked out and slept like a baby that night. The next morning I was late 30 minutes late for work. Changed into some of Thuy's clothes, left here place and took the shuttle back to campus. Luckily, my supervisor wasn't there yet! I worked a few hours. That night I had sushi with Thuy, Nancy, and a few good friends at a Korean BBQ house. Later, we all pulled an all-nighter. I had my family history paper due the next day at 5pm. But there's a catch--I was going to go to the Augustana concert again, but this time in San Diego with Charles because he wanted to see it. SD is 2 hours away from LA, but a 3 hour train ride and 1 hour bus ride away. That meant I had to finish my paper on time to catch the bus at 2:30 pm to make it to the concert on time. I finished at 2 pm and ran to my TA's office while proofreading my paper. Unlucky me! I counted more then 5 typo's! I was so bummed but I ended up getting an A-. haha. Charles and I made it to the concert late...about an hour. We missed part of Wild Sweet Orange's set. bummer. I really liked them. It was a good concert but not as good as the Troubadour. SD people are too chill. Boring.. Didn't engage well with the bands. Whatevs. On Friday, I packed EVERYTHING and cleaned my dorm... I had to move out by 10pm and it took moe 4 hours to finish. Ugh moving stinks! That night, Nancy and I joined Thuy and some friends at Apartment 110 to have some drinks and food. We stayed up most of the night singing along to Justin's favorite tunes and eating some nasty unsalted, bland, low calorie popcorn...thanks to Justin!
Spring Quarter is over! Surprisingly, I did pretty well considering I procrastinated many times... All the study groups, late nights hooked on caffeine pills, 12 hour back to back Mondays, long meetings really took a toll on me. This summer, I think I've slept for at least 12 hours a night. haha. I'm up at 6 am hooked on my first caffeine pill since the last day of Finals. I finished up some things for HOPE and I also wanted to feel the thrill of caffeine again. It keeps me wired and focused--I love it. I think I have a problem. I wonder if there is such thing as CAA-Caffeine Addicts Anonymous? haha.
No more dorms for the rest of my life! This fall, Nancy, Dale and I are sharing an apartment South of Wilshire... it's gonna be filled with memorable moments. I'm excited to be able to cook and bake as well as stay up all night with the light left on. I'm also excited to be less polite bcause my roommates in the dorms were extremely sensitive to a whole bunch of things!
Why is it so hard to get a job? Especially being a college student. I applied for so many jobs in Pittsburg but didn't hear from any. Whatever, Pittsburg can kiss my ass. lol. Jk
I saw Sex and the City, WALL-E, and The Dark Knight this summer. Batman was my favorite! The joker was so good-I couldn't believe it.
August is approaching-I'll be moving back to LA early for SIAC training. I'll be subletting with 3 other boys...should be fun. haha In the meantime, my parents have been trying to teach me how to cook. I learned how to make Taro Root/Sweet Rice Che and Red Bean Che. My friend Myca asked her uncle if I could work with him and his family at their bakery. They told me I could come back in August and work--I hope they still want me. It's such a good opportunity...especially because I want something hands on, I miss baking, and it's about 5-10 miles from UCLA!
Have a great summer everyone!
P.S. I just finished The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri....... I LOVE IT! Ihighly recommend reading it.
This Fall, I'm taking Viet Language 1, LS3, and Asian Am 134. I hope it's a good quarter.
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| Oh snaps! I haven't blogged since the summer!
I'm officially done with 2 quarters at UCLA and I must say... high school doesn't prepare you for college. I'm slowly learning new study habits which needed and still needs a lot of work! I've never read so much in my entire life.. which sucks cause I'm an extremely slow reader =/
Even though class or work doesn't start til 8 am it's still hard waking up. I remember the days getting up for leadership at 6:50... it wasn't that hard but now 8 is kicking me in the butt! Maybe It's because I have to stay up longer or the days are more intensive.....
It really is the most confusing time of your life... Nancy and I were screaming our frustrations to each other a few weeks ago... In high school, we thought yay, we're gonna get out of this hell hole and go to college and live bigger and better things, graduate, get a job, and live happily ever after.
Yeah right.
We don't, I, for sure, don't know what major I want, or even how the next quarter is going to look like. I've narrowed it down to a few majors I may be interested in.. Asian American Studies, Women's Studies, English, Sociology, or maybe even Theater. My questions are: how do people freakin' double major and minor when I can't even find one major? Well that's what college is for.. a time to explore and eventually choose!
As for now, I'm loving Spring Break. It's definitely nice to go back home to Pittsburg. LA folk are too much pour moi... Life here is more relaxed and quiet.
I also miss baking... I really want to bake tonight, perhaps a nice cheesecake or tiramisu?
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| Woo UCLA, here I come! Go Bruins!
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